Transition

This is the other half of the "Full Circle" in my journey of quilting - this one being the more difficult of the two parts to write!  Many of you have been asking about the shop and pattern design company - perhaps sensing the change that is on the horizon - change that I've not yet shared with all of you.

Uugghh, this is a toughy - but here goes!

Oh - and - a while back, I promised not to do any more long, boring posts with no pictures - so I'll throw in some random pictures here!

   

The BIG 4 0

As some of you know, I turned 40 last December - and thus crossed the line into being a middle-ager!  Around 40, we hit a dividing line in life.

The first half of our lives is all about success.  It's all about building.  We are building homes, careers, families, retirement funds, etc. And, we live as if we have all of the time in the world.

 

But, in the second half of life, our focus begins to shift from success to significance.  We begin to realize how short our lives really are, how little time we really have.  And, we start to think about leaving a legacy, leaving  the world a better place than the way we found it, how to live with meaning and purpose.

 

I've been thinking A LOT about what is really important in the last several months.  I've been thinking, when I'm 80 (should I live that long) and I look back on my life, what will I think about how I spent my time? And, how can I live my life now so that I have as little regret as possible?

Wasting Precious Time

All too often since I started the shop, I have found myself over-worked, tired, and just too busy and distracted to do what is truly important in my life! 

 

All too often, I have put God, my husband, my children, my mom, my brother, and my friends on the back burner - because "I have to work" or because I'm worn out from working.  I'm ashamed to admit it - but, I take for granted those I love the most.

 

But, the truth is - I don't "have" to work.  I am very blessed that I don't have to work, that by divine providence and Studly's hard work - I have the opportunity to be a home-maker. 

Yet, sadly, I've not taken advantage of that opportunity.  I've not just worked - I'm a workaholic. 

As I've been reflecting over the last several months - spending my days selling fabric seems more and more insignificant - and an incredible waste of time -  as I compare with the time I could spend with those people that really matter!

Even Quilting Sometimes Loses Its Luster

I've been thinking a lot about the quilting part of my journey - and, yes, I believe there is a "dark side" to quilting for me.  Don't get me wrong - I believe quilting is a gift of God - if kept in proper perspective.  But, like all things - it can go wrong.  Like work, it can divert my attention from what is really important in life.

Shortly after I started quilting, I began to acquire tons of fabric and patterns.  And, this leads to pressure to "get 'er done" so to speak.  And, it also leads to some guilt and frustration (for not having had more self-control)!

And, instead of being a simple joy - instead of being a gift - it becomes a burden, and a goal to produce.  And, I begin to wonder - why do I even quilt in the first place!  How does quilting serve the greater good?  Is this not just a waste of time - I mean how many quilts can a family use anyway? 

My Greatest Joy and Significance

My greatest joy in life and my greatest significance, in the end, is not to be found in a career, but in walking with God, in loving and being there for family and friends. 

As for quilting, my greatest joy (aside from the opportunity to share it with all of you Charming Girls) was in making my first two quilts.  They are the ugliest quilts I've made - but still my favorites (and my family's favorites)!  Why? Because they had meaning - significance for us.

The first quilt - "Love Is" - has 1 Corinthians 13 embroidered in the border.

The second quilt - "Anyway" - which still hangs in our foyer, has the verses of my favorite, most meaningful poem embroidered on the blocks.  It serves as a powerful reminder to me - and will hopefully give that same meaning to my children, and my grand-children. 

The Coming Changes

The shop will be reduced to a very small shop.  We won't be carrying near as much inventory!  And, our shipping policy will change.  Effective Friday, June 4, we will be shipping on Tuesdays and Thursdays only!  Eventually, as the inventory gets lower, we will shift from Gift Certificates to monthly prizes for the Charming Guys & Girls Quilt Club. 

We have ordered precuts and some bolts of "Bliss" and "Breakfast at Tiffany's" - and will post those items soon.

As for pattern designing, I had thought, originally, that I would prefer being a "pattern designer" to the shop.  But, as the true desires of my heart become more clear - I realize that churning out patterns would be like jumping from the frying pan into the fire. 

It would not be good for me to design and make quilts for the purpose of selling patterns. 

My heart desire is to be Studly's wife, to be my children's mother, to care for our home - and to design quilts that have will have meaning and significance for my loved ones. 

Should there be enough interest in those, then I'll be happy to do patterns. 

I am working with Sue to publish the patterns for "Jolly Ole' St. Nicholas", "New Beginnings", "Acadienne", and "Katiebug"!  I anticipate that those will be available this fall.

We all know that life can change in an instant - and, there may be a time in the future where there is room or necessity for a larger shop.  But, for now - Studly and I believe this is the best choice for our family.

That Wasn't So Bad

I told you this was a toughy to write - it's always hard to admit those areas where you have missed the mark in life!  And, even moreso I know that many of you love the shop -and it pains me to disappoint you, because I'm so very grateful for your support and friendship. 

I was talking with Studly about having such a hard time with this post - and he reminded me of a quote I loved from a few episodes back in "Lost."  He said:

"Aw, Babe, remember what Jacob said, 'There is only one end - everything else is progress.'"

Now - how could I not want to spend more time with a hubby like that???

TTFN,

Kelly

Comments

[sherri]

So beautifully written! I wish you the best in every endeavor...and continued success with your "smaller" on-line shop!

[Lisa]

Aw, Kelly, you know we all will still love you and stick by you no matter what path you decide to take. You wrote this post so beautifully. Really. I totally understand what you mean and in the end you need to do what is best for you and your family.
And you are so right. God absolutely has to come first in our lives. That is something that my husband and I are really working on right now too, and are trying to instill that in our children. Nothing is more important than God and family. It's hard because quilting is definitely an obsession. We just have to make sure that we keep our priorities straight and it sounds like that's exactly what your doing. ♥HUGS♥

[mel]

Kudos to you for being in tune with what is truly important ton you! Best of our Lords happiness and health to younand your family!

[Bonnie in South Texas]

Well said. Bonnie in South Tx.

[Erin]

So beautifully written. I think everyone comes to a point where they step back and realise that they are not taking the path they want to take. The main thing is that you realise the path that you want to be on and take steps toward it. Erin :)

[polly]

Good for you! Follow your heart!

[Joan]

Oh Kelly! I am so excited for you. I know where you heart is and I am so glad you are looking after my friend....I truly believe what we see today enlightens us about yesterday and tomorrow will do the same. But today is our only concern. It will provide exactly those opportunities we need and today will take care of those needs.
Don't ever feel you missed the mark...we are developing exactly as we need to each step of the way, according to plan!
God bless....

[Jocelyn]

Kelly you have truly found the most important place in life. You have been such an encouragement. Your post is uplifting and the truth shared here is more precious then gold. Walking with God and caring for your family is the greatest treasure we can accomplish here on earth. Everything else is secondary. Thank you for being so honest and transparent. I hope your transition goes well, and remember that we are here to walk with you and help each other along the way. I wish we could sit down and share a cuppa together :-) Have a very blessed week!

[Polly]

Kelly, so much of what you wrote in this beautifully heartfelt post mirrors my own feelings at times. I began quilting for enjoyment and stress relief. But as the quilting experience enlarged to encompass bee and guild and blogs and sewing groups and competitions, it can easily take over your life and become a stress creator instead of a stress reliever. There are some nights after work when I'd rather be relaxing with hubby or just reading a favorite novel but I feel I need to be sewing as I don't have enough finishes for the month. How can that be good for you, right? Good for you, Kelly, to realize the shortness of life and get your priorities straight. God Bless you for writing about it here where we can reaffirm our own values, too. You have given me lots to think about. You are admired more than you can know, dear friend! Thank you! Polly

[Liz M.]

Kelly, Thank You for your words. I often wondered how you "did it all" when I was having a hard time just sending pictures to you. We all need to step back sometimes to see what is really important in our lives. You are a gift to so many.
God's blessings to you and your family.

[Jeremy]

Beautiful post Kelly! I admire you for putting the things in your life in perspective. You seem like a very sweet spirit from the few emails and phone conversations we've had and I believe you'll continue to be blessed! Believe it or not, it has been on my heart to scale back for the past few months. You've inspired me!
Thanks! - Jeremy

[Cindy Carlson]

May God continue to guide you and grant you the trueness of your heart.

[Darlene]

Blessings to you, dear Kelly! I'm so proud of you as you've figured it out before you 'had' to figure it out. I hope that makes sense!

Being your friend is not about your shop or your fabulous patterns; it's about YOU and only YOU the rest is just STUFFUS! :-)

Big Hugs, my friend!

[Michelle]

I love your post! I love everything you've said! It's a reminder to me of what is truly important.

[jonelle]

It's beautiful that you walk with God and could find what is important to you! Bless you and may your life be fabulously blessed.

[Karen Beigh]

You have to do what is best for you & your family. Every thing else should fall into place and you will be happy. Change is good.

[Dianne]

Great job! I will be sad that you're scaling down, but I'm so proud of you at the same time! As many other of these commenters have said, it's about time that we recognize that we're putting our families on the back burner when we focus on churning out so many projects and so many deadlines! Brava!

[Marilyn]

Your post is wonderful. Good for you for making the right choice and focusing on your relationship with God and your family and friends. It's easy to get so busy and forget what is really important in life. Fabric will always be there, your family and friends will not.

[Quilter Going Bananas]

I'm in awe at how beautifully you wrote this post Kelly. You have to do what's right for you and your family. I'm so glad we're friends and that you started the Club, the rest can fall back. Family and friends, that is what is important in life. BTW, no quilt is ugly Kelly!

[Madame Samm]

Dearest Kelly, there is something to be said about wisdom in the fall of our lives...It really is - the best time, it is the most rewarding and the most treasured. So kudos to you for embracing this next season of your life. I just know your roots will bring you even more wealth than you could have ever imagined...I Know! Blessings madame samm

[Susan Ramey Cleveland]

How quickly our beloved pastimes can become burdens to us. You spoke directly to me on quilting becoming less fund the more quilting stuff I acquire. May God bless you and Studley and your children with a bright future filled with plenty of time to share.

[Stefanie]

Aw Kelly thank you for the heartfelt post!

You said exactly what so many of us are feeling and it is so hard to find/choose the balance. In the end, all we really have is our family and each other!

I am so greatful for your friendship, love, and support! I am with you all the WAY!

XOXO,
Stefanie

[annieb]

I wish you all the best Kelly, and you have to do what is best for you and your family. You never get a second chance at that. I am a firm believer that we are meant to take many different paths in our life time, and this will be a new and better path for you. And who knows what you can accomplish when the dust settles!

[Rene]

Beautiful post! I wish you the best of luck with all the choices you are making!

[annie]

Wow....you have it RIGHT. We all need that reminder that what is important is not always going to be there. I remember my Mom saying ( when the house was a wreck and kids were EVERYWHERE)..."someday your house will be so clean and quiet and you will miss when it was not". Wise Mom...my house is clean ( sort of) and much to quiet and I do MISS that time in my life.
So follow your heart, be still enough to hear God speak His wisdom to you and know that we continue to love and support you. XXX

[Anita Amodeo]

Wow Kelly, what a great post...you put into words beautifully what many of us 'think about'. Good for you, we all need to put our priorities in order. Thank you.

[Dandelion Quilts]

Kelly, of course we understand. You had mentioned to me how busy the shop was keeping you. Perhaps you need a good long break from things and then you will find some of your quilting gusto comes back. It is really hard sometimes to find that balance we need in life. Let me know if there is anything I can do now or in the future to help you. If you need a third hand with the club, I would gladly step aboard. Or if the day comes and you want to stop the club, I know people would understand. But remember, you have friends no matter what.

[sunny]

Thank you Kelly for being so honest, with yourself and with us. My life has been spinning out of control lately and I haven't touched my sewing machine for 3-4 weeks. I set myself up with too many must-dos, and it's just too overwhelming. Good Luck to you!!

[Allie]

How brave you are sweet Kelly, to confront the 'dark side' of quilting - and how eloquent! You've put the feelings I've had lately into words, exactly. You've got your head on straight, dear one. You know where your priorities lay - and, btw, we ALL miss the mark, at one time or another. Only hindsight is 20/20. May God bless you as you follow His path for you!

[call me crazy]

What a lovely post! I think we all need a reminder of our priorities from time to time and I'm sure whatever path you take, you will succeed! Sending all my very best wishes for you!

[kim]

congrats on your new beginnings! im so glad your still keeping the club!!

[Mandy]

Aw Kelly! You're sew sweet! I love your attitude toward family and god and life. The truth is that you always need to do what's best for you... and that's what will make you happy :)

[Kim]

Your post is wonderful. I found myself doing the same thing a few years ago except I went to the extreme. I sold my online quilt shop and my gammil because I needed to take care of my family and was burned out. Where ever your journey takes you, I know you will succeed!
Hugs

[Carol]

Kelly you are a very wise woman! We only get one chance to do the important things in life...I'm just thrilled for you!

[Cathi]

Not many people in blogland know that I myself once owned a quilt shop .... brick and mortar. I had 2 kids out of school, one in high school and one in middle school. It only took me 2-1/2 years to burn out. The doctor said something had to give before I hit the proverbial wall and couldn't get up. I briefly considered giving up the kids and/or Dear Hubby before I came to my senses! LOL

I know it's a hard decision at first but in the end, you wonder why there was a question at all.

[Mary on Lake Pulaski]

I'm so excited for you Kelly! It is great for you to decide how you want to spend your time and I would definitely agree with your decision. Happiness to you!

[Debra]

Good for you Kelly!! Keep thinking along these lines and you will be the happiest you've ever been. You should cherish that family and your friends....and when God is in the lead, everything else will fall into place. It always seems that once we turn our hobbies into a business, it just isn't fun anymore. Take care and God bless.

[Quilter Kathy]

This is my first visit to your blog and what a wonderful read! Very inspiring and what a good role model you are for the rest of us moms/wives. Good luck with your changes!

[Busy Little Quilter]

I love this post, Kelly. I have t
tears in my eyes. I can relate in so many ways.

Thank you for being so honest. It makes me feel better about the many changes going on in my life.

[Andrea]

I'm stopping by from Stefanie's blog and just had to comment...thank you so much for writing this. I feel really lucky to have stumbled upon this post. I'm at a cross roads in my life right now and I find that blogging and getting super involved with all the virtual world stuff jades what really is happening in life. I really appreciate it, and somehow it feels like a lucky little coin that I picked up today. Take care!

[Gran - Knot-y Embroidery Lady]

To know the desires of your heart and to seek the peace that comes by walking with your hand in Heavenly Fathers is a joy. I feel joyful for your process and know you will use your talents where ever you are planted.

I celebrate your journey!

[Debra]

Wow, you have given me some perspective that I didn't realise I was missing. Today is the 1st time I have read your blog, I clicked on a link on another blog & then another link & here I ended up. God bless you as you reconnect with your family. I am off to find & read the poem "Anyway".
Regards
Debra, Australia

[Tammy Parker]

I'm so glad I decided to go back and do some catching up on some blogs! What a great post and you've echoed many of my own thoughts here. In fact except for the owning a shop part I would love to just cut and paste this into my blog lol! I have often had these thoughts about my blogging/computer time and quilting time. It can be so hard to strike the right balance. Thank you for sharing your heart and thoughts and doing it so eloquently :)