Wellness Friday - Learning Non-Resistance

Hi Girls!  Can't believe it's already Wellness Friday again.  This week was a bit more tough than the last couple of weeks.  It was funny, I was doing my reading and the author was talking about women and that time of month, and he said that we experience "considerable inner turbulence" - ca-racked me up!  And I've said that to McStudly more than once this week - "Uh Babe, I'm experiencing considerable inner turbulence!"

Kelly

Reading/Journaling    :)

Walking    :)

Meditation :(

McStudly

Reading     :)

Meditation    :(

Yep, we get little frowny faces on meditation again this week.  It's a bit like exercise - so hard to make yourself do it, but you feel so much better afterward.

Lesson I'm Learning This Week:    As women, we are cyclical beings - our monthly cycles resemble the ocean (high tide and low tide) or the moon (full and crescent).  When we are in high tide/full moon, we are generally happy, outgoing, and don't let the little things get to us.  We are enjoying life.  But, as our hormones levels drop each month, we move at some point to low tide/crescent moon.  Now, during these times, all the little things that didn't bother us earlier in the month come up.  Life issues and pain that remains unresolved comes up.  We become a bit more withdrawn, and are more easily agitated by things that don't bother us in the hormonal highs (Exhibit A:  Pretzel Dough)!

Living in a patriarchial society, we've lost the insight to honor the low tide/crescent moon part of the cycle.  We've been taught that there is something wrong with us for having this emotional swing, that we should be "good" girls, and not get angry or agitated.   Others expect us to be happy and giving all the time, and even worse, we demand that of ourselves - when nature is calling us to rest, to take some time to recoup from all of the working and giving we've done in the first part of the cycle, and yes - to learn to deal with those painful issues that come up month after month after month after month.  It is calling us to be the space we need for ourselves to grow, and be transformed.  The low tide/crescent moon part of the cycle can actually be a gift that transforms our lives for the better - if we don't resist it!

Now, most of my life - I have resisted this cycle like the dickens.  Not the good part, of course - I seriously love the full moon/high tide part!  Life is awesome then!  But, because I've believed for years that there is something wrong with me, with this cycle I go through - I've resisted it.  I've ignored it.  I've tried to work and keep busy to avoid it.  I've judged myself as being a bad person or inadequate for being female, and going through it.

I remember Christian Northup, M.D. saying that each month is like getting a little mini wake up call about everything we need to address - a warning that we get over hundreds of months to deal with what we need to deal with in our lives.  And, if we don't, if we resist it - then we get the mother of all wake up calls at menopause (scary)!  And, I believe, if we don't learn to stop and go with this very natural cycle, we will become chronic low-tiders, chonic crescent-mooners - chronically unhappy people!

And, so my lesson this week (and I'm really still learning this one girls) was that of non-resistance.   It was learning not to resist this very natural, and actually very beautiful cyclical part of my nature.  I tried not to resist anything that came - not resisting the negative emotions, not resisting those painful thoughts and feelings that come up each month.  I tried to be the compassionate and loving space for me to just be in that part of the cycle, to allow my poor little ego to complain and cry and *gasp* even get angry (not aloud to anyone else - but in my alone time).  Instead of rejection and criticism and choking out those things I usually resist, I tried to breath, to quiet myself and connect to the Being who is always inside me and part of me, and to be the compassionate, loving and understanding space to allow those negative thoughts and feelings to be.  And, it dawned on me that this is what we women are really fighting to get from our husbands - and probably what we've been longing to get from our parents our entire lives!  While they can be a help, no one else can fix us.  Nothing outside of us can ever bring about authentic, permanent transformation - we have to learn to connect with the loving, compassionate Being within ourselves if we are to find lasting transformation.

I also took some time to rest - did quite a bit of hand stitching.  My Halloween party grew by like 6 more people.  I was concerned about my being too stressed out - trying to be a good hostess to everyone and still trying to take good care of my trick-or-treaters.  So, I moved it to Sunday - oh, and asked a few people to bring a dish!  The truth is, I just don't have as much energy and patience at this time of the month.  I'm not going to resist that, and push myself to be in high tide when I'm in low tide.  We'll all still have a great time. 

It is strange, this peace that comes from non-resistance, from not judging and letting everything be just as it is.  It is amazing really.  It is nothing like that excited state of ego gratification (when we get something we want and are jump up and down happy)!  Rather, it is a calm, quiet, serene type of peace that really does transcend all understanding!  Now, if I could just do it all the time LOL!   Workin' on it, workin' on it!  That's what these Wellness Fridays are all about - because when I'm better, then I'm better for everyone else in my life!

Hope you all had less "inner turbulence" - and lots more of that serene peace.  Can't wait to hear how you all are doing!

TTFN,

Kelly

Comments

[Diane Linford]

You should give yourself a smiley face for: 1. posting, 2. coming to such a great understanding, 3. good reflecting.

[JudyCinNC]

We really do not give ourselves credit for taking the time and making the effort to better understanding. We pretend strength so often that when we drop the mask and just be we sometimes get lost. These wellness Fridays are giving us more to work with and for. THank you Kelly from Judy C

[katieQ]

I have been inspired by your Wellness Friday postings. It motivated me to go to Curves and exercise 4 times this week. I enjoyed your posting about cycles. It really total sense. I wish I had thought about it that way before menopause. My cycles really played havoc with my life.

[Vickie]

You are such an insightful person now tell the truth you are either a psychologist, an author, a teacher or maybe a spiritual healer. You have a gift that inspires others to reach deep inside themselves to heal and understand themselves. Thank you.

[Cheryl]

This is a wonderful post and one I need to read and read again!!!! My cycles definitely have a mind of their own, and yes I do resist them! I would love to learn to meditate just don't know how to go about starting. Think I need to become part of Wellness Friday.

[Deb]

Thanks for your insightful post about cycles. Too many negative stereotypes exist in our society about women's monthly cycle, rather, than letting women UNDERSTAND them and revel in the joys of being a woman. Honestly, as a young woman, did you know any of this? Do you know any mothers who teach this to their daughters? Also, as you noted, learning TIME MANAGEMENT in relation to your cycle. Its not weak. Its being aware of one's body and accepting it.
Thank you for sharing what you have learned. We (your followers) are blessed to have you in our lives!
Deb

[Janice]

Well you've done it again! Brought me to tears. Of course I'm in low tide. Yesterday, in the manner of 3 hours I experienced retail therapy, chocolate, anger and tears! Wow! Now I have to learn to accept that. I totally agree with Vickie's post, when is your book coming out! I am so blessed to have you as a internet therapist! Thank you again for your inspiration!
Janice

[Janice]

Oops I forgot. Your last picture are those art projects of your son? I have kept my kids projects as well. Unfortunately they are sun bleached. My kids are 29, 27 and 21. Brings back memories.

[Pat]

Great post Kelly.
Never thought about it this way before.
Its giving me lots to think about :0)
Thanks!

[קומיקס]

Nice tutorial shared by you regarding non resistance. It is very interesting. I like to read such post.